Love Scuffle
by Akiyotame
Summary: Something silly I threw together after watching a funny video. I couldn't help but imagine Nico and Maki getting set up for an interview on their relationship and talking crap about each other.


"Honestly, why did Kotori and Umi have to sign us up for this..." Nico groaned.

"Would you stop complaining? It's going to be alright," Maki replied.

Nico's brow furrowed, "Well excuse me, Miss Nishikino~"

Maki's face twisted in annoyance and she tapped her fingers, "Can we move on already?"

* * *

The two of them sat side by side on their couch, on the other side of the room was a camera crew and an interviewer, "So how long have you two been together?"

"We've been married for a quite a while now," Nico answered.

"And we were told that you two... fight a lot?"

"Well... Yeah, I mean... Isn't that what normal couples do from time to time?" Maki replied.

"Honestly, sometimes I hate her, she's the one always starting things and I have invested way too much time in her to leave..."

"Shut up Nico, you're the one that starts them!"

"Oh yeah? Well how about that one time when..."

* * *

 _Nico sat on the couch watching a fashion show on television. When Maki walked by she sat up, "Hey Maki, can you hand me the remote?"_

 _Maki sighed dreadfully, "... Fine."_

 _"Umm excuse me, did I ask for something too hard?"_

 _"No, I said I would do it so here..." Maki turned her face away, "I just don't know why you couldn't move your flat chested self get the remote yourself."_

 _"Ohhhh excuse me?!" Nico stood up, "Call me flat one more time!"_

 _"Flat!"_

 _"Bitc- I'm going to give you one last chance before I shave off your hair in your sleep."_

 _"Flaaaaaaaaaaaat!"_

 _"Come here!"_

* * *

Maki scoffed, "Okay, okay no, do you know you have a tendency to overreact to everything?"

"Hah! Like when?"

* * *

 _The couple sat in their living room looking through all of their transactions over the month, "Yeah... I have no idea how we can cut on our spending."_

 _"Are you serious...?" Maki picked up a few receipts, "All of this! $400 on makeup, a dress and... What the hell is this? A mobile rhythm game?"_

 _"Umm that is a requirement!" she snatched the papers out of Maki's hands._

 _She laughed in response, "Hah! Tell me how those are a requirement?"_

 _"I need it too look my best for you and that is a requirement."_

 _Maki reached out, "Look, Nico, you're already beau-"_

 _"Don't touch me!"_

 _"I'm sorry Nico."_

 _"Why are you sorry? Are you cheating on me? Is there someone else?"_

 _"I never said those thin-"_

 _"I want to divorce!"_

* * *

Nico rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers, "Okay I may have over reacted a bit..."

"A bit? How does me apologizing lead you to believe I was cheating on you?!"

"I was in a dark place!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

Nico looked at the camera, "Okay, I may have over reacted, but Maki doesn't give me chances to explain myself.

"What are you-"

"Let me finish, you automatically assume the worst thing when I'm doing something."

"Oh yeah? Name one time!"

* * *

 _Nico walked through the front door with her phone pressed up against her ear, "Oh really? The last time I saw her she was so small. She really has grown up hasn't she?"_

 _She nodded along, "Yeah, I can't wait to see you too, it's been a while."_

 _"Oh hell no! You are not cheating in front of me!"_

 _Nico stared blankly at the redhead and lowered her phone, "Umm... Can you excuse me for a second?" she covered the microphone, "What did you say?"_

 _Maki stepped forward, "Who is she? What is her name? Is she a co-worker?" she grabbed the phone, "Yeah, hi. I don't know who you are but you're going to have to find your own flat chested nerd because this one is mine, and let me tell you one more thing bitc-"_

 _"O-Oh... I'm... I'm so sorry Kokoa... Umm... Can you hold on a second...?" Maki lowered the phone and handed it back slowly to Nico, "... Your sister would like to speak to you..."_

 _Nico grabbed the phone and shook her head disapprovingly. She brought it up to her ear, "... Yeah... This is what I deal with..."_

* * *

"Okay, you want to point out bad things that I have done?" Maki sat on her leg and pointed at the camera, "Let me tell you some of the messed up things she said to me."

* * *

 _"Your cooking sucks."_

 _"Since you're a redhead, does that mean you have no soul?"_

 _"Who the hell likes eating tomatoes like that?"_

 _"I hope you fall and break an ankle."_

 _"You can't even sing like me."_

 _"That dress makes you look fat."_

 _"You don't have an ounce of romance in you."_

* * *

Maki stared into the camera and shook her head with a smug look on her face.

Nico brought up her finger, "Pshh... I didn't... Okay I may have said those things, but you should hear some of the crap she says to me..."

* * *

 _"Hey babe, your chest is flatter than this cutting board."_

 _"You want to know who's beautiful? Me."_

 _"Your hair reminds me of a broken bicycle."_

 _"Your voice can't even compare to mine."_

 _"Hey babe look, she's prettier than you."_

 _"You Nico Nico Need to shut up!"_

* * *

"Okay if that's how we're going to do it, then how about that time when you locked me in the bathroom an-"

"No! Do you even remember that time you stole my car keys and flushed them down th-"

"How about that one time you injected hot sauce into my toma-"

"You hog all of the blankets to yourself! And don't even get me started on how long you take a shower, it's like-"

"Baby wait..."

"It's like she's purposefully using up all the hot water so that I can have the cold water when I shower."

"Babe..."

"And another thing, she always flirts with other girls when we are out togethe-"

"Babe listen!"

"What?!"

Maki scratched her cheek, "Did you remember to pick up the gift basket for Kotori and Umi's baby shower...?"

Nico looked at her lap as her eyes widened, a gasp escaped her lips, "Nooo I didn't... Can you drive me to go pick it up?"

"Of course I can, I'll wait for you in the car."

"Thanks, honey. I love you~" Nico kissed Maki gently and waved her goodbye.

Maki left Nico alone with the camera crew and she looked back at them, "... What? I told you that this was normal..." she flashed her signature nico nico nii and quickly left the home.


End file.
